Middle-aged flash packers

I awoke to the dulcet tones of our neighbour’s TV and lay there for a while, too scared to look out of the window. Would it still be windy or would we be able to make our escape today?
Eventually I could stand it no longer and peeked out of the window. Still windy but perhaps not quite as bad as yesterday.
Once Steve woke up we decided to pop into the ferry office and see what was what. Closed.
The lady on reception told us that a big ferry was coming today that could get us to millazzo. Hurrah! It was a 7 hour journey. What?!
Then the hotel owner appeared and phoned the hydrofoil company for us. The hydrofoil would run this morning but would leave at 10am instead of 12noon as the captain was worried about the sea conditions. Fantastic. The ticket office opened at 9.30 so we stuffed our breakfast down, hurriedly packed our cases and joined the queue at the office. Tickets in hand, we went to the dock and waited…and waited. Along with loads of other people, all of us anxiously creeping closer to the docking area, peering out to sea, hoping for a glimpse of a hydrofoil.
Now much as I love Italians, they aren’t terribly keen on queuing. In fact it is a totally alien concept to them. Why stand behind someone when you can stand in front of them?
As a small person, I am a target for anyone who wants to jump a queue. I can see them a mile off. First they scan the line of people waiting, then they stalk me, like a hunter with their victim in their sights. They weave their way towards me then, boom, they’re in front of me. Then, like a pack of hyenas, others follow until I am at the back of the queue.
However, I have two secret weapons: my elbows and Steve. A combination of the two is the most effective. Also moving my case so that it blocks and trips the stalker is good too.
This time, when the boat arrived one hour late, we had a most fortuitous way of avoiding swarming Italians fighting to get on the boat. Tour groups were allowed on first. An elderly gang of septuagenarians trouped past us and one of the boat crew literally grabbed our luggage and helped us on, obviously thinking we were part of the group. I overcame my pride and allowed him to carefully deliver me on to the boat. I decided I would brood on it later.
The hydrofoil struggled to remain stable enough for everyone to get on, but eventually the dock was empty and we were on our way.
A bumpy ride indeed. Almost immediately the lady opposite us was puking her guts up. A crew member came round with plastic bags and there were many takers. I put my headphones on to eliminate the noises and the air conditioning just about covered up the smell.
A long stop at the island of Panderea just prolonged the agony for the poor sea sick travellers.
The stop at Lipari saw most of the boat disembark but then an even larger amount got on.
As well as a queue magnet, I am also a magnet for Giants. They love to take any empty seat that might be next to me and then invade my space. Obviously they think because I’m small I don’t need as much room as them and show this by taking over my armrest and bumping me constantly with their oversized arms and legs.
Today was no exception. An Amazonian of a German woman and her equally huge boyfriend squeezed themselves into the seats next to me. Gunhilda then proceeded to stuff her handbag next to my legs which she dipped into constantly. Not content with that, she then grabbed her boyfriends massive hand, draped it over her lap and my elbow and proceeded to give it a good old massage. (His arm, not my elbow.)
For goodness sake, whatever happened to personal space? I attempted to make myself as large as possible and bump them back but it had as much effect as a fly on a hippo.
Eventually we arrived at Millazzo. All went smoothly and we were soon on our way to Cefalu. The heavens opened and the rain poured down. As previously, a 2 hour drive felt much longer.
As we drove in to Cefalu, a beautiful rainbow welcomed us.
We found our hotel easily. It’s clinging on to the side of a very steep road which we will need to descend and ascend to access the town and restaurants. Never mind, it will be good training for Etna.