Fenestrelle

My imagination was caught by pictures of the Forte di Fenestrelle. A military folly, it has a 3km long wall and an indoor staircase of nearly 4000 steps connecting the complex of forts and buildings. It’s built on a hill, with majestic views over the mountainous area, 40 minutes drive outside Pinerolo.

Everyone gamely agreed to a three hour tour of the fort. A guide was compulsory and guess what? No English guides. All in Italian .

How bad could that be? I thought optimistically. It would be worth it to see the magnificence of the fort.

15 minutes of unintelligible babble later and we all looked as though we’d lost the will to live. Jan did her best to liven things up by accidentally phoning me (I’d forgotten to switch my phone to silent) but it all brought back horrible memories of totally boring school trips.

To be fair, even the people who understood the guide (Uri) had a glazed look in their eyes.

It got a bit more interesting once we actually moved to another room but it was still fairly dire. I think we all felt sympathy towards the young boy accompanying his parents. I hope he got a sufficient treat afterwards.

Anyway, eventually Uri hurried up because the other guide who had over 50 people with him, overtook him. Probably the only bit of Italian I understood was Uri’s exclamation of horror and the impossibility of the other group being quick enough to leave him for dust. Yes Uri, more action, less waffle.

The rest of the tour was speeded up a bit and we eventually got to see the mega indoor staircase (very impressive) but by the time we had over-run the three hours by 30minutes and Uri was still yabbering, Steve asked permission to leave. (Yup, even Steve regressed to schooldays.) Uri released us, probably glad to get rid of the Brits who weren’t going to tip him.

We scurried off, closely followed by the family with the boy. We weren’t too sure where we were going but we all hot footed down the many steps, all giddy with the relief of escaping. Imagine our horror when we arrived at the bottom to a locked gate! Imprisoned in an Italian fort! Strange that Uri forgot to mention that we wouldn’t be able to get out. After phone calls and much shouting , the “jailer” appeared and let us out. Phew. We saw Uri arrive shortly after with the few people that stayed with him. I pretended all was cool and we had found a way out that did not involve any undignified behaviour whatsoever.

We decided to go to Lago Laux for a bite to eat and a short wander. Jan ordered what she thought was a salmon panini which disappointingly turned out to be salami. Nik would have liked tagliatelle with a ragu sauce but had he ordered this, he would have had to sit on his own on a table with cutlery and a white tablecloth as that was considered a proper meal , whereas our sandwiches were a snack so we could only sit at a grotty, uncovered table. Go figure.

Anyway, I gave Nik some cheese from my sandwich (I’m nice like that) and he seemed ok so we finished up and went for a wander.

Laux itself is a tiny village but very important historically as Waldensians had lived there several hundred years ago after being drummed out of France for their supposedly heretical beliefs.

The village is being spruced up and it was interesting to saunter along and look at what was being done. All the meter cabinets had murals on them which was rather unusual. Rather than spend hours exploring, we all decided we needed to get back to our hotel to plan our routes for tomorrow. Tomorrow we part company as Jan and Nik need to be home by Thursday at the latest whereas steve and I will probably aim to be back in Blighty by Sunday, weather depending. We have decided, on Nik and Jan’s recommendation, to spend a few days in the Verdon Gorge area in Provence. It looks amazing.

Our last supper was held next door in a very popular restaurant whose name escapes me. We had aperitifs at Jan and Nik’s who shamed us with their spotless room and ability to provide us with drinks served in proper glasses with ice and a slice. Had it been in our room, it would have been warm beer in plastic cups surrounded by carrier bags and half full suitcases.

We will miss them greatly but I’m sure they are heaving a sigh of relief so they can regain some control over their lives rather than be rushed around a variety of countries at break neck speed, looking at strange old buildings and getting locked up in them.

Bon Voyage Jan and Nik.