Ngapali- Trouble in paradise

It was all going too well. Upgraded to a much nicer room, fantastic weather and scenery, delicious seafood and great company. Could life get any better? No. It couldn’t.

After a dire but fun game of billiards with J and N, ( they won, they would definitely want me to tell you that) followed by equally bad darts ( we won but whose counting?) we sauntered off to bed.

Now our sea front bungalow is split level. The sleeping area and the seating area are separated by a big drop, which you access via a step which is basically a polished tree trunk . I think Steve’s first words on seeing it was “that’s a bit dangerous”. Yes indeed it is Steve. Really we should have stayed in our hovel room which at least was all one level or I should have built a barricade around it, as you do for small children. After all these years I should know that if there is an accident to be had, Steve’s your man.

So, as he pulled the curtains closed for the night, naked as usual ( that’s another thing, he never uses the robes provided) I casually commented that he was exposing himself to anyone walking by, after which he stepped back and fell straight down the step, crashing down on the log and hitting the table.

If I was actually trying to get rid of him, it was a damn good attempt. A cup full of tea exploded everywhere and Steve was in a crumpled, naked heap on the floor. For a moment, I was really quite worried. But never fear, dear reader, Steve is well known for damaging himself and coffee tables are a specialty. Apart from a cut head, swollen toe, bruised knee and grazed back, he was fine.

I cleaned up the mess with a towel, administered painkillers and we went to bed.

In the morning, all was fine apart from some soreness and if I’m honest his toe wasn’t looking so good, but toe injuries are another of Steve’s specialities so none of his toes look that good.

I was rather surprised therefore to return from breakfast and have a special visit from the head of housekeeping, reprimanding us for making a mess of the towel. Even after relaying Steve’s near death experience, she told us we should have called housekeeping to clean up the mess.

So remember this folks, if you have an accident in Myanmar, do not try to help yourself, don’t even phone an ambulance, NEVER use a towel, but do phone housekeeping. You have been told.