Middle-aged flash packers

Our bar bill at our hotel came to £40 for 4 nights. And no, we haven’t gone teetotal; wine, beer and several gin and tonics were consumed.

We waved a fond farewell to our hosts and set off for the next part of our trip -Velingrad.

Velingrad is a spa town about a 3 hour drive west of Smolyan. There’s not a lot going on there from what I can make out other than thermal springs but I was very keen to see the Bulgarian wellness experience; I was thinking no frills deep tissue massage preceded by a vigorous, scurf removing exfoliation in a sanatorium style environment.

Steve had other ideas though and booked a newly built spa hotel which seemed incredibly luxurious. Some of the photos on Instagram looked a bit perturbing (to me anyway) as they contained many pictures of ladies who looked as though they had evening jobs if you get my drift.

Our drive to Velingrad was fine but the roads snaked up and down the Rhodope mountains which were stunning but required a lot of concentration for S. We passed Lake Batak which was beautiful and huge. Many of the areas we drove through had a more Muslim feel than Smolyan with old ladies in headscarves digging in well tended fields.

As we drove into Velingrad, we saw what I imagine are Roma people , riding along in horse and carts having gathered meadow grass for their horses.

The town looked underwhelming and my heart sank a bit as we neared the hotel.

Well La-di-bloomin’-da. The car park contained 2 Bentleys plus a few other swanky motors and as we gave our cases to the porter, I rather wished I hadn’t used a Lidl bag to put our bits n bobs in.

We had upgraded to an apartment and wow! Everything was extremely stylish, although I do wish hotels would put comfy chairs on balconies, not ones that are going to leave ridges on your backside. Not to worry, that’s what all those feather cushions on the bed are for.

The afternoon was spent by the immaculate pool area and when Steve had a snooze in the room I tried out every single steam and sauna room (of which there are 7 or maybe 8? Can’t quite recall).

Dinner was amazing. First of all, you have a cold buffet of appetisers to choose from, then from the menu you are served a starter, a main course and a dessert, all super-posh and high quality. Naturally the wine list was very comprehensive and extremely expensive so we stuck to beer being the cheapskates we are.

We waddled up to bed, with Steve immediately making noises that we should stay longer. Can’t say I’m averse to that. There’s a mega heatwave on its way and a child-free, luxurious – and very quiet hotel to hole up in seems like an excellent idea.