Middle-aged flash packers

We had very noisy neighbours last night, screeching away until 2am. Annoying but thank goodness for ear plugs and a white noise machine – we were able to get back to sleep.

Today we decided to do everything that Tam Coc has to offer. Designated a UNESCO site, you can be rowed along a river through the limestone karsts and caves, it’s very scenic apparently. You can do a similar but longer and less touristy trip  from a place called Trang An  which we might try tomorrow depending on how we get on today.

As well as the river, there is a view point to climb and pagodas to see. 

Grab is working well for us now so after doing a load of washing in our wonderful bath, we were off. 

The viewpoint can be found at Hang Mua. You need to buy a ticket which is at the start of the complex of coffee shops and restaurants. It’s really pretty, nice buildings and gardens. And statues of horses. (Horses are very significant in Vietnamese culture, you see brightly coloured ones in temples and they are revered in folk religion.)

There are two viewpoints, one from Dragon Peak and one from Tower Peak. Dragon Peak is the higher point and has better views. We did both anyway. 

Many people do this hike dressed in all sorts of garb. You can hire traditional costumes nearby and even have your makeup done so you’re looking your best at the top. Needless to say I didn’t bother.

The view is worth seeing especially as the cloud lifted a bit. The walk is strenuous but perfectly doable. Would be slippery in the rain though.

We walked into Tam Coc from Hung Mua. It took about 40 minutes and was very pleasant. The only negative was the number of motorbikes that  use the narrow paths between the paddy fields. Perfect for bicycles and walkers, they are churned up by the motor-bike users  who are too lazy to use the road. Infuriating. 

We had a spot of lunch – our first banh mi here. Tasty and cheaper than chips. Not as tasty as the ones in Windsor back home though, but a fraction of the price. 

Next, the boating. All very confusing. We got our tickets at the waterfront but instead of a straightforward row up and down the waterway, we appeared to have signed up to something that involved an electric car and various visits to caves and pagodas as well. 

We are finding that it’s best to go with the flow here in North Vietnam so we paid up and assumed it would all work out.

Getting on the boat was also confusing. There was no particular line to get in but after getting our life jackets (mine actually fitted!) we were eventually pushed onto a boat where our elderly rower bore a striking resemblance to Confucius. 

Rowing is an interesting mix of arms and legs here in Tam Coc. When the rower gets a bit tired, they row with their feet. It seems very sensible but I think it’s quite a skill and for the lady rowers, a little indelicate. I can’t see it becoming an Olympic sport, but you never know. 

Once we were out of sight of the officials at the boarding point, Confucius he say get into other boat. Or at least demonstrated that we should do this. Now I had read that there were all sorts of scams whizzing around Tam Coc so I resisted. There was a bit of a scuffle on the water but remembering that resistance is futile here and not wanting to fall into the murky waters, I capitulated and found we were being rowed by Confucius’s grandmother. 

It felt terrible for such an old lady to be doing all the hard work, but S had no such qualms as he told me afterwards that she was a complete pain, pulling at him and trying to get him to buy paintings. At the prow of the boat, I was blissfully unaware and enjoyed a rare peaceful interval in the chaos that is Vietnam. It was quite a sight to see all the boats with their passengers meandering along the waterway.

All too soon we were being rowed to shore where S generously gave the old lady a tip. (Not obligatory btw)She immediately asked for double as there were two of us. Confucius, he say rip off foreigner at every opportunity.

On to the electric car which was more like one of those carts at the airport that transports the elderly and infirm. With no idea where we were going we got on, relieved that our driver had his hands on the steering wheel and not his feet.

We stopped at some temple or other, where Steve spent most of the time looking for a toilet. I did what I usually do which is hang around waiting for him and before we knew it, we were off to the next stop.

Although Bich Dong Pagoda sounds like a house of ill repute, it is not. It’s a beautiful Buddhist temple built into a cave. The surroundings are serene, or would be if you removed all the tourists. We were lucky that we arrived quite late so most of the crowds had left. As well as being beautiful, the temple had some interesting posters as to how to be a good Buddhist and what might befall you if you weren’t. One piece of advice was that if you don’t work hard at your job, you will fall into poverty. Makes sense. As does if you think horrible thoughts you will poison yourself and your limbs will drop off. It must be terrifying being a Buddhist.

We got back onto our chariot, expecting more but not wanting it, only to find we were done and dropped back off at the ticket office. Hurrah, time for coffee. S is a brown coffee convert (has condensed milk added to it) but does like it with a beer chaser. 

I had a mango crepe which literally just had mango in it and was rather dry. Confucius, he say, ask for honey, you will get honey. Ask for mango, you will get mango. 

A thought for you to ponder on.