Middle-aged flash packers

That didn’t take long.

This was probably the laziest holiday we’ve had since our early twenties.

I blame it on the combination of masks and heat.

Amongst the hottest holiday weather we’ve ever had ( Pulgia in Italy takes the prize for that – 45 degrees), just sitting in the sun for more than 10 minutes felt unbearable. Add wearing a mask, and venturing out of our villa and it’s pool felt like a major chore.

We did manage a few walks around Dalyan. Finding side streets and tracks where we could take off our masks unobserved became an interesting diversion. This also took us past many very beautiful villas with gorgeous gardens. Ogling other people’s homes is one of my favourite pastimes. I like them all, from the mega villas with huge verandas and grass trimmed with nail scissors to the tumbledown shacks, housing cockerels, goats and cows as well as the odd human.

My favourite dwelling was previously an apartment block, built to resemble a Moorish castle. It was definitely on demolition row, falling to bits with only the odd intact window, but one night we walked past it and saw men living it. They had hooked up some electricity and had lights and a tv along with the usual jumble of paraphernalia drifters and the homeless tend to have.

We did manage a trip to the beach where once we got away from the hoards (why do people crowd together when 10 minutes walk away there is no-one?)we could walk mask free along the sea edge. Oh and we had lunch by the river at a very nice vegetarian cafe. I’m fairly sure it will be the only one in Dalyan as most Turks think anyone who doesn’t eat meat should be sent to the asylum immediately.

Overall, despite the mask wearing, or perhaps because of the mask wearing, we had a very chilled and relaxed time. So chilled that when BO came to inspect the house, instead of doing some tit for tat nitpicking back, we charmed her enough to hear the whole sad story as to why she was obsessed with party pooper rules. Needless to say, some renters had taken the mickey, had 21 people staying there, broke things and had the police called out twice. I also decided to go on the charm offensive as she left the door open and I was terrified the kittens we had been feeding all week were going to make an appearance at any time. We kept her away from the door and I’m really hoping she doesn’t find them all stretched out on the beds upstairs.

Chill time was over once we were at the airport and got called for boarding. Not only were we put on a bus, we were jammed in like sardines for Christ’s sake. Now I’m fairly laid back about the virus but I do not want to spend 14 days in quarantine because I’ve rubbed skin with someone else unnecessarily. Full marks to Gatwick airport who were brilliant about social distancing. F for Dalaman airport.

The only uplifting thing about it was the thoroughly rude and unpleasant lady with a bad leg who was manic about social distancing and literally screamed at an airport employee who tried to help her, was surrounded by people on the bus. Karma.

The next bus to reach the plane had 12 people on it. I counted them.

On the plane, 3 strangers were put together in the exit row. “How silly” I thought “still lots of spare seats though, they can move.” Nope. Still crammed together as I speak. Obviously leg room trumps Covid.

Or perhaps they know something I don’t.

Until next time – whenever that may be.